Burlesque 101

My new burlesque class (yes, there is such a thing, and no- it's not as scary as it sounds, and yes, my mom knows, and yes, she's so proud!) is awesome, amazing, and forcing some really fun craftiness.

I made my own dance panties! Super high waisted and goldgoldgold! More to come on those later.

For my routine I start in a stunning fishtail skirt suit, and black flats. Those don't cut it so we toss on some huge orange heels and strip down to a glittered corset and pasties. But before the pasties: the bra.

Initially it was all going to be sewn on. Then I realized that because my bra cup is SO CURVED I can't do it- that gave me Four Boob Syndrome (FBS is commonly caused by having G-cup boobies.) So I got to hot glue EVERYTHING!

If you want to make your own burlesque bra find everything in your entire house that sparkles. Put it in a pile. Figure out what your dominant sparkle color is (mine was gold, but pink, red, green are all lovely!). Put everything that is not representing your dominant color away (you'll have enough of a mess without it!)

Then use your knee as a stand in boob and use it to curve out the cup- start at the top of the cup when you're cutting and covering fabric for it. Remember that the bigger your boobs, the more gussets and curves you'll run into, so be prepared! Layer fabrics over each other as you work your way towards the bottom of the cup. Then hot-glue something pretty over the seams (ribbon, trim, ricrac, gold chain, a favorite necklace, a least favorite necklace, a watch, your son's plastic snake for some Medusa flair.) In any areas you can't easily cover use a tacky fabric glue to attach super fine glitter to cover the original material.

Great places to get bras for this are discount stores and purveyer's of used goods (my favorites are Ross, Marshalls, Goodwill, Salvation Army- just wash them first. It doesn't matter how ugly the bra if you can shove your boobs in it. Doesn't really even matter if it fits- you're going to cover it in crap!)

Martha Stewart, this is day 4 of my petition for a visit on your show. Let's talk Burlesque, glitter, crafting, and life!